We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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