did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
