I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
