Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
