you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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