the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
