it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
