Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
