Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize