i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
