I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
