She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
