did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
