Do vagina's smell?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
