The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't think brook has ever known best
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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