a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My pussy is not your playground.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
