Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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