My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
