About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
