508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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