Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
