Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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