My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
