everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
