And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
