I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
