I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
