i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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