Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
