at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
