Your face is a jimmy john
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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