FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
