Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
