Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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