He kissed a someone with a penis
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
