bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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