Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You left your underwear on the fireplace
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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