That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
