LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
