if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
