Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
