I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
