I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
