I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
