honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Operation Purity has been aborted
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
