How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
