why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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