Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
