Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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