I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
