Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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