I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
