I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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